Phoning it in
I have a confession to make: I phoned it in yesterday.
I went to worship and walked through the motions. I checked the boxes, fulfilled my duty, stood when I was supposed to, sat down when I was done. I sang, prayed, read, and everything else that are the motions of worship. But, my heart wasn't in it. I phoned it in.
What makes it worse is that I was the worship leader.
The temptation of military ministry is to be so much a Soldier that I forget to be a Pastor. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of benefits to being a chaplain. I can go to where Soldiers work, pull them off their job, and talk to them if need be. I have the advantage of only convincing one person, my Battalion Commander, of what needs to be done instead of convincing a Voters' Assembly of 100 or so that the same things need to be done. But, one of the pitfalls is to be such a good Soldier, that I forget to be a Pastor.
This week I got caught up in being a Soldier. So, Sunday morning I was scrambling at the last minute to put a message together, choose some songs for worship, and finalize my PowerPoint slides. Needless to say, I didn't feel the mountains tremble in worship.
But, just because I didn't feel the Spirit move doesn't mean that He wasn't there. By the same token, the truth that the Spirit of God is present everywhere doesn't forgive my lack of preparation. In actuality, because the Spirit was there and saw the terrible job I had done in preparing worship, I feel more condemned and guilty.
"So, I fall on my knees to get back on my feet again." Yesterday afternoon I had a "come-to-Jesus meeting," a term we use in the Army for a meeting where someone is told he/she better shape up quick. I came to my Lord in prayer and begged His forgiveness, which He gave me for Jesus' sake, and so today I am starting my worship preparation for next week. I'm doing my best to make sure that I do my part to aid the Holy Spirit this Sunday. I'm getting ready to meet Him in worship so that my life would be changed...again.
I went to worship and walked through the motions. I checked the boxes, fulfilled my duty, stood when I was supposed to, sat down when I was done. I sang, prayed, read, and everything else that are the motions of worship. But, my heart wasn't in it. I phoned it in.
What makes it worse is that I was the worship leader.
The temptation of military ministry is to be so much a Soldier that I forget to be a Pastor. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of benefits to being a chaplain. I can go to where Soldiers work, pull them off their job, and talk to them if need be. I have the advantage of only convincing one person, my Battalion Commander, of what needs to be done instead of convincing a Voters' Assembly of 100 or so that the same things need to be done. But, one of the pitfalls is to be such a good Soldier, that I forget to be a Pastor.
This week I got caught up in being a Soldier. So, Sunday morning I was scrambling at the last minute to put a message together, choose some songs for worship, and finalize my PowerPoint slides. Needless to say, I didn't feel the mountains tremble in worship.
But, just because I didn't feel the Spirit move doesn't mean that He wasn't there. By the same token, the truth that the Spirit of God is present everywhere doesn't forgive my lack of preparation. In actuality, because the Spirit was there and saw the terrible job I had done in preparing worship, I feel more condemned and guilty.
"So, I fall on my knees to get back on my feet again." Yesterday afternoon I had a "come-to-Jesus meeting," a term we use in the Army for a meeting where someone is told he/she better shape up quick. I came to my Lord in prayer and begged His forgiveness, which He gave me for Jesus' sake, and so today I am starting my worship preparation for next week. I'm doing my best to make sure that I do my part to aid the Holy Spirit this Sunday. I'm getting ready to meet Him in worship so that my life would be changed...again.
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