A Very Real Danger and a Very Busy Month
You have probably all seen this story or a similar one:
Suicide Rates Rise Among US Army Soldiers
When this report hit the press, people started to worry. Heck, I was worried about it before I even got here. One thing that I have learned from youth ministry is that boredom leads to homesickness, depression, and misbehavior; keep kids active and engaged and they will wonder where the time went. This applies to the lives of Soldiers as well. If they have too much unfocused time, they will be homesick or maybe find ways to get into trouble.
As I have already posted, I have a lot of amenities over here. I have a television, a PlayStation 2 and access to the Internet and I'm not alone. Most of the Soldiers sent similar items over here. Also, with e-mail and phones, I am able to stay in touch with my good friends back home. I can send daily messages or, if I want to spend the money, I can call daily. I have many Soldiers who are calling their significant others DAILY. So what, you ask? Let's look closer.
Every evening I go to the chow hall at about 1800 after my workout. I see a lot of Soldiers from my company come through the chow hall at that time. About 20-30% of them are carrying "to go" boxes. They have gotten a meal in a styrofoam tray and are taking it with them. When I ask if they are going back to work, many say, "No, I'm just going back to my 'hooch' to watch TV, play a video game, or chat on the Internet." So what, you ask? Let's look closer.
Had a counseling case come in a while ago where a supervisor said a Soldier was acting "odd." I talk with the Soldier and the client says, "I don't feel comfortable talking to you. I don't even know you and you don't know me." I then asked the client how much time he/ she spent talking with his/ her supervisor in the rear. He/ She said, "Just about work; we never talk about personal issues. He doesn't know me, either." So, what does "odd" look like with this Soldier? Who knows "what right looks like" with this individual? Do you see where this is going?
In today's modern Army, not all units have the same level of cohesion that previous armies have had. The concept of a "Band of Brothers" where Soldiers train together, deploy together, live together, share life together for so many years is gone in many cases. Now, we link up, train for 6-12 months, go to war for a year, talk about how we can't wait to get home and PCS (permanent change of station, i.e. move away), and start the process all over again. A Soldier over here doesn't have to get to know the people in his/ her company because a Soldier can e-mail friends and family, call significant others, and spend any free time in his/ her room doing whatever. Our modern Army may be the most impersonal Army ever.
So, for example, maybe we have a 20-year-old Soldier, who hasn't connected with the others around him; who eats chow alone in his room watching movies, rather than talking with others in the chow hall; who only shares his soul via e-mail to friends and calls his girlfriend daily; who does his job well but is quiet and spends a good amount of time e-mailing friends back home rather than talking to those he works with. What happens to this Soldier if he were to get a "Dear John" letter or finds out via "MySpace" that his girlfriend is "hooking up" with his best friends or goes to his bank account to find it emptied out and calls his wife to find out why and she tells him she's already left him and moved out? Who does he talk to? Where does he turn?
This is the very real danger. Many are turning to suicide because they can't see any other way out. There's no one who knows that he's "different." There's no one who knows he even has a girlfried, let alone that she just broke up with him. So, many of these Soldiers keep grabbing their dinners to go, they go back to their room, they come to work as normal, and they suffer in silence until the suffering becomes too much. But nobody sees it because many others are doing the same thing. When this Soldier is looking for a solution, he may turn to suicide.
This is just one man's unresearched and less-than-scientific opinion but the problem doesn't lie with multiple deployments and separation from families. Our grandfathers and fathers spent more time away from their families than we do and they didn't have this problem. Our forefathers HAD to get to know and rely on the people around them. The problem lies with the fact that we don't get to know our neighbors but instead just choose to retreat into our own little worlds. Community is the key to solving this problem.
I only call home once a week. I know my wife wishes I would call more and many others have said I need to call home more often. I do miss my wife but I need to develop some community over here as well to keep myself safe from these dangers. If I call home more often, I won't open up to those that I work with. If I don't open up, then I stay to myself. Then I become at risk, too. Ironically enough, the key to me coming home safe and sound to my wife is me NOT calling too often and instead building strong friendships here.
Suicide Rates Rise Among US Army Soldiers
When this report hit the press, people started to worry. Heck, I was worried about it before I even got here. One thing that I have learned from youth ministry is that boredom leads to homesickness, depression, and misbehavior; keep kids active and engaged and they will wonder where the time went. This applies to the lives of Soldiers as well. If they have too much unfocused time, they will be homesick or maybe find ways to get into trouble.
As I have already posted, I have a lot of amenities over here. I have a television, a PlayStation 2 and access to the Internet and I'm not alone. Most of the Soldiers sent similar items over here. Also, with e-mail and phones, I am able to stay in touch with my good friends back home. I can send daily messages or, if I want to spend the money, I can call daily. I have many Soldiers who are calling their significant others DAILY. So what, you ask? Let's look closer.
Every evening I go to the chow hall at about 1800 after my workout. I see a lot of Soldiers from my company come through the chow hall at that time. About 20-30% of them are carrying "to go" boxes. They have gotten a meal in a styrofoam tray and are taking it with them. When I ask if they are going back to work, many say, "No, I'm just going back to my 'hooch' to watch TV, play a video game, or chat on the Internet." So what, you ask? Let's look closer.
Had a counseling case come in a while ago where a supervisor said a Soldier was acting "odd." I talk with the Soldier and the client says, "I don't feel comfortable talking to you. I don't even know you and you don't know me." I then asked the client how much time he/ she spent talking with his/ her supervisor in the rear. He/ She said, "Just about work; we never talk about personal issues. He doesn't know me, either." So, what does "odd" look like with this Soldier? Who knows "what right looks like" with this individual? Do you see where this is going?
In today's modern Army, not all units have the same level of cohesion that previous armies have had. The concept of a "Band of Brothers" where Soldiers train together, deploy together, live together, share life together for so many years is gone in many cases. Now, we link up, train for 6-12 months, go to war for a year, talk about how we can't wait to get home and PCS (permanent change of station, i.e. move away), and start the process all over again. A Soldier over here doesn't have to get to know the people in his/ her company because a Soldier can e-mail friends and family, call significant others, and spend any free time in his/ her room doing whatever. Our modern Army may be the most impersonal Army ever.
So, for example, maybe we have a 20-year-old Soldier, who hasn't connected with the others around him; who eats chow alone in his room watching movies, rather than talking with others in the chow hall; who only shares his soul via e-mail to friends and calls his girlfriend daily; who does his job well but is quiet and spends a good amount of time e-mailing friends back home rather than talking to those he works with. What happens to this Soldier if he were to get a "Dear John" letter or finds out via "MySpace" that his girlfriend is "hooking up" with his best friends or goes to his bank account to find it emptied out and calls his wife to find out why and she tells him she's already left him and moved out? Who does he talk to? Where does he turn?
This is the very real danger. Many are turning to suicide because they can't see any other way out. There's no one who knows that he's "different." There's no one who knows he even has a girlfried, let alone that she just broke up with him. So, many of these Soldiers keep grabbing their dinners to go, they go back to their room, they come to work as normal, and they suffer in silence until the suffering becomes too much. But nobody sees it because many others are doing the same thing. When this Soldier is looking for a solution, he may turn to suicide.
This is just one man's unresearched and less-than-scientific opinion but the problem doesn't lie with multiple deployments and separation from families. Our grandfathers and fathers spent more time away from their families than we do and they didn't have this problem. Our forefathers HAD to get to know and rely on the people around them. The problem lies with the fact that we don't get to know our neighbors but instead just choose to retreat into our own little worlds. Community is the key to solving this problem.
I only call home once a week. I know my wife wishes I would call more and many others have said I need to call home more often. I do miss my wife but I need to develop some community over here as well to keep myself safe from these dangers. If I call home more often, I won't open up to those that I work with. If I don't open up, then I stay to myself. Then I become at risk, too. Ironically enough, the key to me coming home safe and sound to my wife is me NOT calling too often and instead building strong friendships here.
3 Comments:
In regards to your last paragraph - very true. By you doing that, you're also setting a good example for others.
Dub, this is very perceptive -- it sounds to me like you're really on top of your situation. Keep taking care of yourself and your men. You're doing a great thing.
I agree with what you said, but I do have something to add. The army is not what it used to be. Men and women that I do not think have any business going to war in the first place are making it through IET. That combined with leaders that dose not truly care about his men make or a trouble problem already. Combine that with the factors you mentioned and there you have it.
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